Elishable of the Day: Special Immigrant Visas

Once again I find myself wishing to discuss the need for extensive immigration reform.   This time we will focus on translators who have sacrificed the safety of their families and themselves to be of service to US Forces and how these heroes need to have immediate access to the United States.   


"The Special Immigrant Visa (SIV) is a U.S. program established for Afghan or Iraqi translators who have worked with the U.S. military. Translators play a crucial role for the U.S. military, and the Iraqi Refugee Assistance project estimates that around 50,000 Iraqi and Afghan nationals have served as translators over the past decade. However, working with the U.S. often comes with a heavy cost: being branded a “traitor” by the Taliban and other groups, putting the translators and their family members at constant risk. The SIV program was intended to provide protection against this by allowing the translators and their families to migrate to the U.S. after their service."


http://thediplomat.com/2015/01/left-behind-translators-the-afghans-who-served-with-the-u-s-military/


You can imagine that kind of horrors that could potentially face the translators who assisted British and US Forces during the war in Iraq and our current situation in Afghanistan.  I do not understand how we could process 130,000 Vietnamese rather easily in 1975 but be unable to help the translators who have assisted and stood up against terrorist organizations.  The United States government was able to airlift our Vietnamese family to bases in the Philippines, Wake Island, and Guam and eventually transferred them to refugee centers in California, Arkansas, Florida, and Pennsylvania for up to six months to receive education and cultural training in order to facilitate their assimilation into their new society. Although initially not welcomed by Americans (only 36 percent in a national poll favored Vietnamese immigration), President Gerald Ford signed the Indochina Migration and Refugee Act of 1975, which granted the refugees special status to enter the country and established a domestic resettlement program. The bill was amended in 1977 under the sponsorship of Senator Edward Kennedy (D-MA) to permit refugees to adjust to a parolee status and later become permanent residents. In order to prevent “ghettoism” by concentrating resettled Vietnamese in one geographic area, refugees were initially dispersed across the country.  This deliberate scattering of the first influx of refugees did not last, as most eventually moved to California and Texas.   We processed these immigrants in as little as 4 months.   If we can do that for people who had ties to American Soldiers, why can we not help out the translators who served alongside our brother and sisters in arms.  They already proven themselves as Americans, they've served with the 1% of our military members--something MOST Americans do not do.   We did it RIGHT back in 1975 and it is time to change the way we process SIV's NOW. 


Another issue that I have is that our government makes it mandatory for the member applying for SIV to pay for all fees (it's a 14 step program) and to buy the plane tickets for travel (for all family members and themselves) to the United States.  I seriously doubt that a majority of translators can even afford that for themselves or their families, also we have to factor in the fact that the lives of the translator and their family members are in constant danger from terrorist because of their association with American Soldiers.   They need to be granted immediate asylum while we process their paperwork.  They have approved 3 visas in 2011, 63 in 2012, and finally rose to only 3, 341 by the end of the fiscal year of 2013.  The site provided also states that approximately 6,000 are still stranded in Afghanistan while waiting for their paperwork to be processed.


http://thediplomat.com/2015/01/left-behind-translators-the-afghans-who-served-with-the-u-s-military/


This isn't acceptable for me.  As a nation we should be thanking these individuals and their families who have put their lives in danger to ensure our boys get home.  They are/were paramount to our success, prevented the death of service members and all they get is the bureaucratic red tape?  Please--they need a easy path to citizenship and more importantly a safe haven in which to gain the right to be an American.   Leaving these heroes to fight for their lives is no way to say thank you and it definitely isn't a way to encourage help from translators in the future!


Please meet FNU.  Courtesy of John Oliver tonight!


https://youtu.be/QplQL5eAxlY




Please comment, question, or correct in the comments below! 

Elishable of the Day: Friend Zone

The dreaded friend zone.  Jokes galore are forever made in the name of the "friend zone" as the women (and maybe some men) are accused of always wanting to date bad guys/girls instead of the good guy.  American society makes fun of the men forever trapped in the friend zone and I wonder how we went wrong as society.




The friend zone tells me that I can not simply be a friend to a guy, that men are archaically Neanderthal and simply can not comprehend a world where its ok to be JUST FRIENDS.   Society tells me that to even give a guy 'false hope' in the name of friendship makes me this big, bad, evil woman.  I mean how DARE I be a friend to a man.  Shame on me!!! 

It's a concept that is really difficult for me because this idea and mentality is what shapes our current society.  I had hoped that people were mature enough to understand that using terminology like friend zone is simply lazy, sexist, and absolves people of responsibility.   Here's an idea, maybe it can be absolutely fulfilling having a platonic relationship with somebody that your interested in.  I've had unrequited crushes on guys that I've liked (one happened be gay, but that's ANOTHER story), and even though they didn't like me the way I did them, I still to this day value their friendship.  They are absolutely amazing guys.   I am so grateful that I was mature enough to simply find value and worth in their friendship.  Relationships do not need to end in sex and the sooner society understands that, the better we ALL will be.



I find issue with the fact that while it is a gender neutral term it's mostly used in gender relationships of male and female.  Usually it is the male who has feelings for the girl and she's not interested because she only dates the 'jock' or the 'bad boy' instead of dating the 'good' guy who is her friend. She's stupid, lost, and simply cant comprehend how good she could have it if she just dated her 'good' friend.  That in itself is ironic because how can a guy be a 'good' guy if the only reason he's her friend is because he thinks he deserves to have sex with her even when she isn't feeling it?  The friend zone puts men in a place where they have no other need in life except sex and women are mountains to be conquered, a problem to be solved instead being a person.  That concept in itself helps contribute to the rape culture that our society propagates and it only harms potential healthy and fulfilling relationship with people of opposite sex or gender.    Relationships that garner trust and even perhaps a fulfilling romantic relationship with someone. 



I hate to break it to you but attraction is a science and so many factors go into what a person is attracted to.  It spans across facial features, pheromones, and hormones.  Bottom line is--NO BODY can just instantly turn on the attraction for someone else because that person invested TIME in them.  People can like you when you invest time into them,  I like friends who hang out with me...who show interest in me as person--doesn't mean I want to sleep them.  Spoiler alert: attraction and liking someone are two separate things.  I like neighbors, I like coffee, and I like certain peoples personalities but that doesn't necessarily mean that I am sexually attracted to those things.  At the end it still is an honor and a privilege to be someone friend.



The problem with the friend zone is entitlement.  It says, that if your nice enough to a someone, then they have to be with you. It removes choice and attraction from the equation and simply is not acceptable. So be proud of being in the Friend Zone because it is a way to have valuable relationships with fascinating people.


Rape Culture Much?

Elishable of the Day: #SAYNO

http://www.cnn.com/2015/06/14/americas/paraguay-girl-rape-pregnancy/index.html


*******WARNING THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS SEXUAL ASSAULT/ABUSE THAT COULD TRIGGER SURVIVORS******




Right now there is a little 10 year old girl who is 22 weeks pregnant with her stepfathers child. Not only is she pregnant but the government is refusing to abort the fetus. Paraguay will only abort a fetus if the mother is a health risk.  According to them, it would be a sin to abort the baby of a 10 year old girl because the girl isn't (right now) at risk, and can deliver the baby via C-section.  My question is when did a 10 year old become healthy enough to give birth at all, and why are you not considering her MENTAL health????


"According to UNICEF, in Paraguay, every day TWO girls from the ages of 10-14 give birth to a baby that is a result of sexual abuse and 680 minors from the age of 10-14 reported a pregnancy in 2014."  Now I'm too tired and too devastated at the moment to even research each country and each continents child hood birth rates but 2 little girls a day give birth in Paraguay?  WHAT?  That's insane, and it means that their government isn't taking care of what they need to in order to prevent this atrocious act from happening? 


This article is personal to me and I don't think they can fully comprehend the devastation rape alone can have on a undeveloped mind.  My story is incomparable to a little 10 year old being raped and forced to give birth, but it may give some insight on how a child's mind works.


I don't remember much before the age of four, I have fleeting memories some happy and  not so happy moments in my life.  I, however, remember my elementary school years with such clarity that even today almost 29-30 years later, I'm still haunted by what happened to my sister and I.


He would start by tickling us, lulling us into this sense of safety and belonging.  It's natural for a father figure to tickle his kids, right?  I never met my biological father so my stepfather was all I ever had.   He would tickle us when my mother felt the need to go out, which was every week.    I remember the first time that I REALIZED that something was wrong, but I had no idea what it was.  I felt him touching me when I was sitting in his lap and I got really scared.  I mean how does a child at 4 or 5 determine if this was normal?  I had no idea what to do, I just reacted because I felt like I was being bad.  It went on for a couple of years, I felt like I was bad and dirty and unwanted and I couldn't even comprehend why. I don't feel comfortable sharing in great detail everything that happened but I can say with complete honesty that no child is capable of being mentally well after sexual abuse of any kind.  How can they be? 


 I never was a little girl to him, I was a sexual object before I was even in school.  When puberty hit I couldn't wear certain clothes (button up shirts, shorts/skirts above the knees because they made me look slutty.  He went to such extremes to cover us up because he couldn't control HIMSELF.  He wanted us.  Always.  I lived my whole life scared of that look in his eyes.  He never physically raped me but he looked at me as if I was already his.  He made me feel dirty as a young woman, made me feel like I was trash because I had big boobs and a curvy body.  I hid myself from everyone.  I wore the biggest cloths I had so people wouldn't see me, because how could anyone love me, I was such a bad person because I let him do what he did to me......


This had a tremendous affect on me.   I hated myself.  I hated my body, and my heart.  I was so scared of people that I couldn't even talk to them until I was an adult   I suffered so much, mentally and I hated life so much  that I would put my stepfathers pistol in my mouth and try to pull the trigger.  When I failed to even do that because I was a coward, I ended up hating myself even more.

I overcame those things though, but it took years.  I had people use me, take advantage of me because all I ever wanted was to be loved and I never had anyone show me what that really meant. I didn't see myself as worthy of God, love, or myself.   Even to this day I get uncomfortable when people compliment me and I never once was raped like this 10 year old girl was.


 Fully developed women can barely comprehend WHY she was sexually abused, they struggle with overcoming one incident in their entire lives.  This girl lived with her stepfather, and I can bet that she started getting abused from a much younger age than 10.  Studies show that in abuse against minors the perpetrator very rarely goes straight to rape.  He would be cautious because he doesn't want to be caught.  He has to breed his victim into being a silent one.  He cant afford for her to talk.  So he belittles her and he starts small.  The stepfather would get more and more bold with every crime he committed to his victim and then when he felt that he cultivated the silent victim he would rape her. 


This child is a victim of long term sexual abuse and I cant comprehend how the government can determine that this child is capable and healthy enough to give birth?  She truly isn't and they are torturing her by forcing this pregnancy on her.  It is not right.  Paraguay needs to focus on making rape of minors more harsh since it is so prevalent in their country.  They also need to realize that health encompasses more than just physical wellbeing, 



#SAYNO

Elishable of the Day: #Empathy

And today I bare my soul. 


 This will probably be an emotion tirade full of faults that I will have to edit out in the next few days  but I am absolutely in horrific awe at how devastatingly tragic this world is.  I read the news and continuously have these internal debates on whether or not I should write an Elishable about what I see because I don't want to contribute to hate or anger. 


I want to express joy and love and the good in people.  I am such an empathetic person that I can feel the emotions rolling off of people. I can tell if someone likes me or not and I don't do well in large groups because I'm often overwhelmed by the force of emotions that people express.  I cant have conversations over phones because I need to see the faces of the people I talk to so I can understand WHAT they're feeling (FT IS MY BEST FRIEND FYI). The crazy thing is I WANT to do that, I want to know that my words doesn't negatively affect a persons, this TRULY matters to me.  It's also natural for me and I tend to have an ability to help people and I love being of use when it's positive. 


https://youtu.be/1Evwgu369Jw




  I wish the leaders and the fighters of ISIS could feel the pain I feel when I see them beheading someone who isn't like them.  It is this viciously evil cycle that occurs there.  They have made it common, these murders, so much so, that they feel nothing when they do it.  We focus on ISIS, but they aren't the only ones responsible for this type of hate.  It's common everywhere.   These people have families and loved ones and your create a whole new level terror and horror, when your murder someone over power, turf wars, twenty dollars at gas station, you create a cycle.  Those people have families and now they are put in a position where hate reigns in their lives and they potentially could walk the same you just did.    How dare you?  You are not God/Allah nor do you have a say in the life or death of someone else.  To presume to think you can comprehend what God wants?  Your evil.  Can you not see the hate and insanity in your eyes? I wish you TRULY had empathy, that you could see how you affect people but your one of those dead eyed people when you don't care how your actions affect those around you.


http://brainblogger.com/2013/01/26/joy-to-the-world-empathy-and-positive-emotions/


I'm in the military and I've been serving for 12 years now.  I was in Iraq at different points between 2004-2007. I once had a military member in my chain of command who 'highly' encourage me to watch the beheadings that occurred under the Taliban.  I watched them per this persons guidance, because he was concerned with my ability to protect our unit if we went under fire.  I watched them, and I couldn't sleep for weeks because of it.  Even now, 12 years later I have nightmares about what I seen.  I could see their faces.  I saw the nonchalant way this extremist sawed off a mans head with a butcher knife, I seen the fear and terror in that poor mans eyes as he said good bye to his family and friends.  The questions we have to ask is what causes this numbness in people?

That terrorist had what I call dead eyes, there was no life in them.  I see eyes like every single day.  They see but they are blind and they cant truly feel emotions.  These people just eek out an existence that has no substance and they don't realize it, it is incredibly sad.  Death is the most intimate and intimidating part of life, and to not even care about another persons life is atrocious.  Not only is it disgusting to be responsible for these evil actions its horrible to view it.  It creates a demand for this time in life when we transition from our bodily form and that should be kept private no matter what.  When you create a demand there will always be someone willing to cash out on that and it creates this paralysis for empathy.  This isn't something that is prevalent in the middle east, it occurs every single day here in the United States too.  Neighbors are killing and raping innocent people, gangs get involved, hatred is being spewed and it is all caused from a lack of empathy.  Insensitivity starts at childhood so we can be the cure or the a curse for the world.  How are you going to effectively express to your children that its great to care, its wonderful tool to have.  It encourages positive relationships, incorporates healthy emotionally practices in ones life.  It allows you to put yourself in someone else's shoes and when your able to do that you don't want to cause pain to someone else.  You simply don't. 


http://healthland.time.com/2012/04/16/human-kindness-genes-withstand-threats-and-fear/

Elishable of the Day: #DistractinglySexy

The news/twitter feeds are full of #DistractinglySexy meme's and accounts from different scientists around the world.  Apparently Nobel laureate Sir Tim Hunt sparked criticism from his chauvinistic comment about women in labs.  He said they (female scientist) "fall in love with you and when you criticize them, they cry".


Well it may be true in his case.  He says he speaks from personal experience and that is the perspective he has in his life.  I learned that valuable lesson when I was a manager of a restaurant in East Texas and I dated a bartender.  When I broke up with the decidedly obsessed bartender he was all heartbroken and didn't take it gracefully.  From that point on he made it difficult to work with and refused to listen to ANYTHING I had to say-and I had to fire him.  I learned at that moment in my life that you don't eat where you sleep, because PEOPLE are emotional creatures, both males and females.  I imagine based off of his comment, he probably doesn't have empathy when handling emotionally charged issues (obviously, since he said this in a room full of South Koreas top female scientists) which is why women seem to 'cry' around him.  His actions are despicable but by reacting to the situation the way we did allowed him to prove his point.


We women, can be at times more emotional than 'some' men, but that IS valuable.  I have also met men who were more emotional than I am, and never once did I question their work ethic.  These differences  between us actually enhances creativity and intelligence. They are positive attributes and encourage brainstorming and allow humans to accomplish tasks as effortlessly as possible.


This week alone I have seen three separate occasions where men felt like women were a subspecies to men.  One involved Sir Tim Hunt, another a critic from the New York Post who said women are incapable of comprehending GoodFellows, and a CEO who said Elizabeth Warren doesn't understand the global banking system.  Do I care? Not really.  I know my worth and you should too. 


 I also think it says something about you if you are unable to control yourself around a beautiful (or handsome) scientist.  Seriously!  If you always have issues when you date people you work with, then don't date anyone at work.  If you cant control yourself, then who is the 'weak' one.  This goes for both women and men.  Dating with co-workers can be successful for a small majority of our society and for the rest of us, we cant do it! 


The post have been rather funny, but ladies please choose your battles well.  I know we have all worked with that male chauvinistic pig who thinks women should be at home, barefoot, and pregnant.  We have all met the sexist who thinks we are only good for one thing, and using our minds isn't included in that process.  We've all met THAT guy.  The thing is we learned in elementary school to ignore the bullies and don't show them that they affect you.  The whole WORLD seems to have forgotten that.  So see people like this as what they really are, bullies who never left elementary school.  Ignore them, laugh about it with your friends, and don't feed the trolls.

Elishable of the Day- Police Brutality

The amount of force that police officers can use when making an arrest is a subject of much concern and controversy. Police officers have discretion to use as much force as they—at the time of arrest—reasonably think necessary to protect both the public and themselves. But citizens’ groups, especially those made up of ethnic or racial minorities, often oppose the way police officers employ force. They claim that police regularly overstep the bounds of necessity.


Reasonable Force can be determined by a court of law based of off:
        1. The severity of the crime
        2. Does the suspect pose a threat
        3. Was the suspect resisting arrest or attempting to flee


According to the article I've provided below "the most common factor for abuse is disrespect shown to the police by these subjects".

http://scholarlycommons.law.northwestern.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=6818&context=jclc


A officer has to determine two factors to determine if use of force is warranted:


    1. Escape
    2. Physical Threat


The officer will need to determine what the lesser of two evils would be.  They are responsible for the maintaining the peace in our communities and have probably suffered people being disrespectful while resisting arrest, and other atrocities while on the job.   You can reasonably assume that they have been subjected to brutality from the community and as such will naturally act in a way that is more forceful than necessary to prevent a situation from getting out of control.


Of course, there are situations that escalate from reasonable force to police brutality.   These situations have recently come to light through social media and being highlighted through protest.  Michael Brown was a violent criminal resisting arrest, and I believe if I was an officer I would have tried to stop the boy with a gun as well.  Especially after attacking and officer and a business owner in one day.  Eric Garner's arresting officer should have been indicted in my personal opinion.  They had already handcuffed him, and had him in custody, yet the officer continued to hold him in a chokehold which eventually killed the man.  The pool party incident in Texas?  I probably would have acted in a similar way if kids were pushing, attacking me, and talking back.  After a certain point I would have been frustrated with all these kids refusing to listen me.  I wouldn't have pulled a weapon but based off of what the officer dealt with that day, he obviously wasn't in a good frame of mind to deal with rowdy kids (he dealt with two suicide calls, one in which a man shot himself in the head).  Even the victim in that specific case said that the people at the pool party were yelling and cursing at the police officer.  Seriously!  WHY? 


WHAT WE CAN DO


I think a positive way to prevent police brutality is body cams, because then it will TELL both sides of the story, the PUBLIC can see what happened and that can either exonerate/prosecute the individual accused of being to brutal.  As an officer (just like the military) it is your duty to act in a manner that is beyond accusation.  You ALWAYS have to be on point regardless of what has occurred while your worked as a law officer.  You have to show respect but demand it at the same time, and that is a very hard line to walk. 


There is something else that the public can do to prevent police brutality. When an officer questions you answer their questions with respect.  Showing respect to the officers is all you need to do.  It probably is also a good idea to not reach into your pockets or the waistband of your pants or lunge to grab you wallet that fell under your seat.  I don't know, seems like doing those things could get you shot....so don't anything without the officers express knowledge and move S L O W L Y.  Parents can teach their children to respect officers and learn to keep their mouths SHUT.  Whether or not you like the police force they are in a position that deserves respect. If you think they are brutal, then do their job.  Seriously.  You might have a change of heart about what police brutality when you are one.

Elishable of the Day-Education

Unfortunately US Citizens continually fail to show geographical awareness, struggle with foreign languages, and seem to have scarce knowledge of international current events.  It absolutely boggles my mind that we fail to see the importance of properly educating our children.   U.S students, unsurprisingly rank lower than European students in math and science and we continuously put religion above human rights, especially on sexually charged issues such as gay rights, abortion, and obscenity.  The U.S media encourages the dumbing down of our nation since both major news outlets fail to provide more than one single perspective.




Americans born after 1980 are lagging their peers in countries ranging from Australia to Estonia, according to a new report from researchers at the Educational Testing Service (ETS). The study looked at scores for literacy and numeracy from a test called the Program for the International Assessment of Adult Competencies, which tested the abilities of people in 22 countries.


The results are sobering, with dire implications for America. It hints that students may be falling behind not only in their early educational years but at the college level. Even though more Americans between the ages of 20 to 34 are achieving higher levels of education, they’re still falling behind their cohorts in other countries. So much so that an American with a 4 year degree was shown to be performing at the same level as high school students from other countries.  






I resided in South Korea for two years and became absolutely fascinated with the pressure of education the country puts on their children.  According to the PISA exams South Korea scored second in reading, fourth in math, and sixth in science.  This is a HUGE jump from South Korea's not so distant past.  After the Korean War in the 1950's only 22% of its population could read.  In 1970, the per capita income was $200.00.  They decided that the best way to pull South Korea out of the trenches of illiteracy and poverty was through education.  SK completely reformed their school systems and committed to an equal-opportunity system promising to educate every child.  They conduct a lottery system so that all kids, regardless of where they lived or how much money they had, got access to a great elementary education.
  


South Korean students study non-stop.  A typical school day for a child was school from 8-4, home for a quick meal, then they would attend a hagwon (a private after school program) from  6-9, and then they would self study for two hours before going home to start their day all over again.  Their only day off is Sunday.  South Korea has very little resources outside of their people so performing well is the only way to succeed.  It is an INTENSE childhood to have but it worked,  they have become a powerhouse to be reckoned with in  two generations.
 


In fact, they study more than kids from any other country in the world. In South Korea, education is very test-driven. There is a massive entrance exam to get into high school and college and the pressure to succeed on this test starts when kids are three or four-years-old. Many people may argue that South Korea’s schools are too intense, that the pressures on the kids are way too high—and that may be true. But their students are some of the best in the world, so despite our possible objections to their approach, there are some things we can learn from them.






2012 PISA MEAN SCORES




http://www.ncee.org/programs-affiliates/center-on-international-education-benchmarking/top-performing-countries/south-korea-overview/







I  do not encourage the strict education cycle the South Korea has because it DOES create intense pressure on their students, however we need to find a happy medium so we are not looked at as a ignorant nation.  If our government refuses to reform the education system (or you as a citizen fail to vote people into state/federal jobs who would fight for education reform), then it is up to the parents of our young children to fill in the gaps that the current education system has left out.  A child who can speak two or three languages fluently will already be ahead of the learning curve and will have better opportunities in the future.  So, what will you as an American citizen do?  Continue to be lazy and assume your the best or look at other nations and see what we can do to correct and improve our own failings as a nation?




Please share, comment, and discuss.